You do make a good point about me holding onto strong resentments. I am particularly resentful towards my mother and my aunt, and my grandfather. All for different reasons, but very strong emotions attached to each of them (as well as a few other family members). I am aware that I hold onto resentment. And I acknowledge that foolish choice I'm currently making only making things more painful for myself. But, it is the choice that I have had to make until I have the ability to accept the past. I don't have that ability yet. I sure wish that I did ~ but I don't.

Anyway, I do believe that difficulty that I'm struggling with is a separate issue in itself. Whereas the struggle is myself having such a difficult time expressing raw emotions. That's what I believe.