I know you are here for me. Wow, it's weird what my mind does to me even though I aware it does it to me and still can't prevent these thoughts. I let my brain talk me into feeling alone in the one place in this world that I feel least alone. I am reminded now of the friends I do have here and how a silly thing like numbers could wig me out so much.

I am so sorry to hear your pain is bad again. I completely feel the same on friends. The real life kind really suck and are usually deceitful. Here's sending love your way, hoping you will have a brighter tomorrow.