Bless your heart. You are struggling! And I'm so sorry about the abuse in the past. I wish something had been done about the abuser!

I have to agree with Payne. I think therapy would be a good idea at this point. While I'm not a diagnostician either, I agree with Payne's thoughts. So I hope you will consider therapy soon as I'm sure you will benefit from it.

Please let us know how you come out and visit us frequently! I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee