I think it is easy to become confused in situations like these. When someone we have known was either actively abusive towards us or supported our abuser but eventually stops, we start to believe that the relationship is now somehow "functional." After all, it's better than it was in the past. Right?

But just because a relationship is "better than it was" doesn't make it healthy, functional, or non-abusive.

Honestly, the only way I have maintained any kind of healthy and functional relationship with my mom was by moving out. I love my family very much, but from a distance.

I think it's also important to realize that people won't change. Your mom takes you for granted. Always has. And she probably always will. I'm not saying it's impossible for her to change, but if she doesn't want to change, if she doesn't see a problem with her behavior, then it doesn't matter HOW MUCH you do for her.

Take care of yourself...