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Trusting is probably one of my most difficult developmental tasks I have to master. As a result of my abuse, I learned that no one could be trusted - not me, not God, and certainly not other people. I may have lived most of my life in fear, yet with a longing to at last be able to relax and trust someone or something.
As a child my natural inclination to trut was stolen from me by my abusers. Even after repeated attempts at trusting others, I did not experience a feelling of safety. People in my family were loyal to the secret about the sexual abuse and could not provide a natural trusting environment for me. So, as a child, I quickly concluded that life and the world were not safe.
As I recover from my abuse, I need to be most gentle and patient with my need and longing to trust. I have lived my life for so long from a position of fear and distrust, that I need to be patient and slow with myself developing this ability.
Today I affirm my need and natural right to trust by acknowledging my longings, and by demonstrating through my behavior that I am moving in the direction of trusting at my own unique and precious pace.
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