Shawn,

I was in much the same situation for (WOW) 16 years. I hadn't realized it had been so long, sorry to digress, I'm kinda shocked. The sooner you get help, the sooner you will start feeling better and rediscovering the feelings you've lost touch with. The first step is VERY hard, I know...but I also believe you can take it

Take care, let us know how things work out.