The basis of my diagnosis of Bipolar II is that I shifted from periods of torpid depression to periods of high anxiety and restlessness. I have been following a period of excessive somnolence during the winter months only to lose my ability to sleep once daylight increases. During my restless, anxious periods I used to believe that it was just more depression. I was miserable all the same. I was wired enough to be unable to sleep, but found this an extremely unpleasant experience where I still craved rest. This made the bipolar diagnosis more difficult to detect. My psychiatrist explains to me that Bipolar is better defined as extreme shifts in energy, explaining why I always feel 'depressed' when I am, in fact, "Up."

I would like to know if anyone else understands their Bipolar disorder in this light. I know that most of us have experience dysphoric feelings during their manias but I am not sure how many people match me. Please tell me if you relate!

Lately I have been shifting into this state, having difficulty sleeping, extreme destractibility and much anxiety that escalates into panic attacks. (Just Thursday night I panicked for hours first at the thought of pain existing in death, and secondly found scratches on my arm that I couldn't remember receiving, causing me to panic about The Lamictal Rash or that I was hallucinating them) My heart palpitates often and I can feel my breath picking up but this can happen often outside of mental anxiety or panic.The thing that has been weirding me out lately is spending days with this feeling of something swirling inside me. Think of butterflies in your stomach or the strange waves you may receive when anxiety beings ... but this turning is not unpleasant. It almost feels like I have contained emotions that roll about my belly and chest but are never completely released.

I am not doubtful of my diagnosis, I am very convinced that I am Bipolar II especially since I started paying attention much more to my mood swings after the suggestion and diagnosis.

Here are some questions: Does anyone else experience a swirling sensation inside of them whether it is pleasant, unpleasant, or neither? Does anyone else experience panic and symptoms of anxiety as an expression of mania or hypomania?

One thing that I really want to talk about: I am never sure in saying that I am 'hypomanic' during these times of anxiety. I have simply never identified with that word although it is obvious that I have dramatic shifts. It's like I can't fully relate to others here because my moods are a cr@pshoot that run in all sorts of places but can't be placed on a spectrum. I just feel like I am experiencing more of the same thing but in a different way, and not a flip into something different. Does anyone think that I am not experience pure "ups" but rather a mixed state?

I especially want to know if people find their two poles to be a more blended experience rather than distinct episodes or switches? Do you have difficulties identifying an 'up?'

Give me your opinions guys, but, more importantly, your experiences!! Thankyou.