I'm sorry for continuously posting, but I feel like i also need some feedback on if I am responsible for this?

A part of me really really wants things to go back to the way they were when we were happy, or even the way they were when he was cheating. I just really don't want to be cast aside and abandoned and forgotten and left alone.

I think I am more attractive than the girl he dumped me for, and I know that sounds terrible. He said it has nothing to do with looks. I am super-obsessed with my perceived physical shortcomings, and now I just want to get in even better shape and get plastic surgery and get into grad school and start an awesome career, and maybe then, he'll love me.

This sounds so pathetic, I know, but I just don't understand how this could have happened. I am in complete and utter shock.