I want to thank you for showing me that I am not the only person that is confused on what to do. I am a survivor of child abuse (physical and mental) and domestic violence from the hands of both my parents.

To sum it up, I was abused since I was born. But I finally got the courage to get away after a traumatic event in 2003. I have been estranged from my parents and siblings since then. My children and I moved about an hour away from where they were living and tried to stay "hidden". In 2005, they found us and since our TRO expired, there was nothing I could do. They bought a house about a street away from us. Unfortunately, due to financial reasons, we have never been able to move anywhere else. So, at least once, every week, we see their car drive past our house.

Yesterday, I was bored and decided to go on FB and search for people I know, just to see how people have changed. That is when I found my siblings. On their page it stated that their mother (who is my mother as well) passed a couple of weeks back. Needless to say ... I am in shock and am confused. I truly do not know exactly how to feel.

I feel happy, because that is one less person that I have to worry about trying to harm me or my children. But I feel sad, because she did give birth to me, and was my mother. But I also feel angry because no one had informed me of the death. I mean it wouldn't be that hard to drop a note in my mailbox while they were driving by at night. I am also upset because though I tried my best to shield my children from my family to keep them safe, they may later in life ask where their grandparents are.

I believe in respecting the dead. But did I and my children not deserve an apology from my mother for what she made me and later my children and I go through? Or at least the common courtesy of letting us know that at least one of them is gone?

My children and I are alone, I guess you can say. We don't have friends or any family members except for their uncle/my brother-in-law, whom we live with. We've lived in fear for so long that I have no idea how to process this information.