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Originally Posted by WePow
I found that was very true with our community in many ways. But there are ways of being honest with the one we love and laying out things the way we see them. I have been with my partner 15 yrs this year. Through the years there were times when I needed to do things for me. I wanted her support. Things like flying out to california to spend a week with my mentor who is not only a retired psychologyst but also a nudist ... along with his wife. She thought the guy was loco or something because he was different. But I let her know I was going. I let her know t was something I was doing for me. I went, had a great time, did the whole nudist in the river thing... and came home and told her everything that happened. Later that year he flew in to see me for a few days. And my partner got to meet him. Now everthing is ok and she likes him.
It can be tough for people to learn trust. Keep being firm and stand your ground in a loving way. Tell the truth about things. And allow he to have her emotions and thoughts.
"I hear what you are saying and appriciate your thoughts and emotions. But the fact is I am going to do xyz because I want to do it. I love you. And you can either trust that love or not. It is your choice."
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Thanks for your advice Wepow and I love hearing that you and your partner can talk so openly and sort things out and the sheer fact you have been together for 15 years is amazing because I don't know any women who have been together longer than 6 years.
I will try to be honest with her always and tell her what I need but I guess I am afraid of that after my last relationship. I am afraid to be honest because even if I said I was talking to a man with my last girlfreind she would kill me and it came to the point where I didn't want to go anywhere with her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
Jealousy is a tool of control in relationships, and often escalates or is accompanied by emotional, physical, and other forms of abuse. Being jealous of someone's therapist is an extreme form of jealousy, as the potential for a sexual relationship to develop is at least minimal, and because the partner is going to therapy for help, not to take away from the relationship or the partner. It's anyone's choice if they don't want to go to therapy, but to try to stop your partner from going through guilt or manipulation, that's control. And probably abuse. Continue in such a relationship with OPEN eyes, especially because you've seen jealousy have bad effects before.
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I will enter into this relationship very carefully and I don't want to change her, only can she do that by realising how her jealousy puts a strain on relationships and how it will cause problems in every relationship.
I have told her I will not be controlled by anyone anymore but she still blames me for liking thing on facebook- I like pictures put up not the people who out them up. I am afraid to look at anyone. I can even mention t and she goes balistic. I don't see this relationship lasting because I can't live my life in fear anymore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ECHOES
This scary and immature. You are 2 separate, individual people.
Please be careful here. 
Do you enjoy someone being this way with you? |
I hate it, I dont like jealous and controlling women but that is all I have experienced and that have been available to me. I hate walking on eggshells around these women, afraid to express my opinions and likes.
I couldn't even go out to a work event with my ex because she would get jealous if somebody even talked to me and storm out. I dont think I am anything to look at at all but for some reason these women think everyone likes me and they have to keep me away from men and women. I feel trapped again.
