You're father sounds like he was a great guy!! I'll pray for him, his soul, and for you too. It's the ones left behind like you that death affects. Could you go to a grief group anywhere near you? I know when my sister died, I was already in a group for other things but gettting it off my chest through having others listen and care for me, helped alot. You need to work through the depression.It comes and goes, I would find myself crying in restaurants, trying to hide it too. It's an awful feeling but you can get through it.You are blessed to have had a very good father!!!