Stay with the AA, after reading others responses on here to your post, i agree that you need to win, not them. Also, you should not take things too seriously if they talk about you, they are there for the same reasons too. Sometime it's hard to get into a group because it seems to me others need to see a weakness in you so they feel safe, like group dynamics and how it works. They are probably not really talking about you and if they are, they are testing you. It's just all part of a process if you ask me. I think you should stick this out, i hope you don't drink or do drugs anymore, that is such a hopeless life to live, I know as I used to be like that in my 20's and I am 52 now. Please keep getting help or see a T and pshyciatrist if you're not already.I hope this sheds some light on your situation.