Right now I feel pretty harmonious, just went swimming. But I also feel a bit annoyed that T is sick this week as well (she cancelled our last meeting eue to sickness). Haven't seen her for two weeks and don't have any upcoming appointment...

I also feel very very sad, kind of a deep down feeling which takes the edge off of every other feeling. My grandparents are selling a house in which I pretty much grew up in during every summer when I was young. That house is my haven, my paradise and safe place (except for the spiders though...). It feels terrible but I know the situation isn't working - my granddad pays good money every month just to keep the house there, empty. God. I don't know if I am going to go back there one last time or not... will I be able to cope with that without a total breakdown?