My sobriety is a lot more important than any individual people who think they know what's best for me.

I first go sober in early 1990. I finally got into a psychiatrist in fall of 1990. After some testing and med trials, we finally found an anti-depressant that worked for me and it changed my life. You know how a good med can make all the difference...Well, silly me went to one of my favorite meetings to tell everyone how grateful I was that I got clean and sober. Now that i was sober, I found out I had this mental problem and I was now taking medication and everything was going to be great. Every single woman around that table went on to tell me that I wasn't workign a good program and that I wasn't sober now that i was taking "drugs" and that if I just worked harder at sobriety I'd never need a pill to make me "feel better". I got up, walked out and didn't go back.

Fast forward a few years, and now i'm drinking again. I ended up almost continuously drunk from summer 1995 through April of 2000. I signed myself into an I.O.P. and got told I was going to have to go back to AA. B@$t@rds...But it worked out. This time, when I got back in therapy and on medication, I kept it to myself and a few trusted friends. I will have no sanity without sobriety, and I can have no sobriety without sanity.

Over time, I have become more open about my mental issues, including my medications. Other people need to know that recovery is possible, even if you're mentally interesting. I don't listen to the people in the rooms who disagree about my medications. They aren't doctors and it's none of their business. There are other people who love me and support me, and those are the ones I stick with.

You know how people who don't drink can't understand alcoholism? People who don't have mental illness can't understand mental illness. I'd suggest sticking to sobriety at meetings until you are more confident in yourself. You CAN be exacty who you are, but if you aren't ready for some people not to understand it, just stick with what you all have in common. After they get to know you better and they see your growth, they may judge you less down the line.