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Mar 25, 2013, 11:36 AM
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Member Since: Feb 2013
Posts: 23
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 Hi everyone!
I don't really understand what my 'problem' is or if I even have a problem at all o_O
It's just relationships....
I've never been in one before. Not ever.
Almost everyone, literally half of the people/my friends on Facebook are in a r/s. I am a member of dating sites & I do get a lot of messages & views, but I just don't feel like meeting any of these people, not to mention I hardly feel attracted to any of them or think they just wouldn't want to know me so why bother, I dunna what it all is, all I know is that I've always been this way ever since I was about 7 tbh..Always miserable or down-spirited, melancholy?
But now, I daresay I ever even feel melancholy or 'sad' in spirits these days. It's more like a feeling of 'nothingness' if that even makes any sense at all lmao!!!!
I just feel like being by myself alot of the time, the only time I go out 'socially' is to help my mum with shopping & maybe see a friend or two if they're free but I don't go out at the weekend alot like so many people my age do.. & tbh I never saw anything wrong with this it's how I've always been (like i said) but now I'm also getting more irritable-it will just come out of the blue I'll swear at someone who has said something about someone else I care about or about me maybe attack them/start on them or think about attacking them if what they said really riled me. I feel calmer at home in my room, listening to my CDs, watching films, & in the library. I do talk to people because otherwise I'd end up comitting suicide because of the loneliness, but I never go out anywhere with said people, I feel too different from people so I don't feel like it. I want to hide from them..
This silly feeling.. it's more than just feeling a bit blue.. I don't really know what it is as I know it's not anything like depression because i hardly ever feel 'sad' or much of anything tbh.. Just empty & sometimes irritable..Not sure what it is and not sure if there will be an end to feeling like 'this' what ever 'this' is (feels like slowly sinking into mud).
Anyone else have a lack of friends/no partner? Feel like this alot? Is this my personality? Am I meant to be this way? :\ i was never a party animal...
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