Just wanted to add. (thank you DH, for jarring my thoughts loose)

Just because I actively decide to NOT let my dx / label run my life, does not mean I go about freely willy nilly doing my thang without a care in the world.

I still make responsible choices.
While I have the occasional drink, I do not get drunk, unless on purpose, which is once a year, New Years Eve, (IF in a safe environment with folks I trust) and i do not partake in any risky behaviour that I will face negative consequences for.

I refuse to touch alcohol if my mood is anything below "normal" because it will spike whatever negative feelings are hiding beneath my surface.

I always ask "how will my actions affect Jordan" and then "how will my actions affect my brain"... if the first is not a negative and the second is atleast manageable, I dont foresee a problem.

I do however abstain from pot, mostly because I got paranoid and nauseas last time, but that was probably because I was medicated. So have been toying with the idea of trying a few puffs because bf has a supplier with some nice grade goods.

Oh so my point is. I am not throwing caution to the wind, merely giving myself more room to live and breathe, in ways I have predertmined are safe, or cant be that bad.

And I dont remind myself of bipolar everyday, that would be like reminding myself I have a face