Not sure if my BPD has anything to do with this or not but thought I would throw this out there and see if there is anyone similar??
I constantly think about sex, sexual acts and anything of the sort, day in and day out. It isn't the actual acts that I find myself drawn to, it is the sheer elation and all over joy I feel when I think of those things that I am drawn to. So much so that some of the choices I have made in life, some recent some not so, have been for the drive to feel that way as much as possible.
I have had a rough past, from abuse during childhood, not just secual but mental and physical as well. I have also fed those feelings from that all the way through my 20s. Now this is something totally different, like I am driven to follow this wherever it leads me to. 
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"Death is easy, peaceful: Life is harder"
"The Day You Turned On Me Is The Day I Died,
And I've Forgotten What It's Like,
And How It Feels To Be Alive" (Daughtry-Gone)
"And you always want what you're running from. It's always been that way." Bittersweet Lyrics by Ellie Goulding
"The reason I hold on, cause I need this hole gone." (Stay by Rihanna)
"The opposite of love's indifference." (Stubborn Love, The Lumineers)
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