Lauru, you did good work by sharing this with your pdoc. This is how you heal, by getting this stuff outside of you and sharing with a helping professional.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

I agree with the others that your body would normally respond like this. It is also normal for a person to feel the way you do about this. You can work through this. I hope that you can continue to share all of this with your pdoc and therapist.

Please continue to keep us posted on how you are doing.