Very gentle hugs to you Seattleskies.

I have been on that same road that you find yourself stuck on.

Have you talked with your husband about your past and how you're struggling now? If so, how did he react? Have you thought about working with a sexual therapist?

My ex-hub and I did that for a while many years ago. Of course, it was understood that my past was pretty much the reason why we were going through that. The T did provide a bit of a safety net for a little while though. To build my confidence in our marriage and reassurance that my hub wasn't just going to leave me for another woman, we focused on re-developing our listening and support skills. Paws off one another for a couple of weeks or so, to reduce my fear of pressure. That helped a bit too.

Another part (which I hated!) is that the T wanted me to get to know my body sexually and accept it. Allow myself to explore my body without feeling shameful (that didn't work for me personally). Then, we were allowed to slowly move back into our sexual relationship to hopefully refine our love towards one another & live happily ever after.

My ex-hub and I stayed together for another 8 years or so from that point. We really did care about one another & we tried. I hope that you and your husband find the tenacity and devotion to stick it out and stay with each other.