I just need to tell someone about the current anxiety I'm having. I live in a very limited environment, and the issue right now is my bedside drawer and table (it's not really a table, but the top of the drawers comes up just right next to my bed, so that's how I use it). I keep my "clean" stuff in the top drawer and also have a "clean" alarm clock and phone on top. However, the lamp on my table, because it got pushed against the wall a few years ago, has become "dirty" to me, and so I don't touch it. As such, it has become very dusty. I should amend one thing...I touch the base of it with a duster or disinfectant wipes, but I don't touch the top because of all the dust.

There is a spider that's on the wall and has been in my room the past couple of days. I'm not afraid of spiders, but the fact that they might spin webs on my stuff or disturb the dusty areas (like the lamp and old spiderwebs from spiders past) really has me nervous. If dust gets spread, I may have to take everything out of my drawer and rewrap it in new Ziploc bags, and if dust gets on them again, I'll have to do it all over again, until the spider is gone and no longer causing a problem. Why do spiders and bugs always have to go near my lamp and bed? I know some bugs are attracted to light, but I can't turn it off because a) I need it, and b) I can't touch the lamp. That light is always on. When the lightbulb needs changing, I have a whole rigamarole I have to go through, and I use my boyfriend's help.

I'm going to be so frustrated if I have to clean things and rewrap them. My OCD doesn't like this. I wish I could get the spider out of my room, but I can't touch it or the wall it's on. Even if I could catch it on the wall, it's not in a "safe" place that won't disturb dust or upset anything.

Sorry, I just needed to get this off my chest. I hope some of you read this, just so I know someone listened. You don't have to reply, but sending me hugs would be nice, even if they won't solve the problem.