Am sorry that you've had such a tough time of it.. Rejection and having your heart broken aren't necessarily linked to confidence tho, it could just be down to the wrong people and how they act. I do not think its a reason to give up - what are you, 25 ish? So young to throw in the towel. If you can't help yourself, and refuse to get help, then there is little you can do. So please don't give up!

Sorry you will not consider therapy, as I think it would do you a lot of good. Is there not a sliding scale of costs with therapy? My partner was similar to you, but he's just finished a course of one-to-one CBT therapy (free on the NHS) and the difference in him is noticeable. More importantly, he says he feels happier and more confident as the therapist has taught him a few tricks, as well as get him to understand his way of looking at things may not be right. For example, as long as I've known him, he's been paranoid about people judging him, not people he knows, but strangers in the street. The therapist just simply said 'who made you the center of everyone's universe?'. Simple and effective - he finally understood what I've been saying for years, that nobody is looking at him, they are too busy living their own lives. And even if there was the odd person looking at him along the line, who cares what a stranger thinks of you? This was just one of many things he's being facing and working on, and in just 6 short weeks of one session a week, he's felt better about himself and the future. Such a short investment for such a huge outcome. Oh, and he's 47, and he told me he regretted not doing it sooner.

Anyway, self-esteem can be improved with the right help. I don't think a naturally shy person will ever be the life and soul of the party, but it can be made a bit better. Yeah, sure, having a girlfriend who says you're fab will of course boost your self-esteem, but surely it's far better to learn to like yourself on your own, rather than rely on someone else? It's not fair on them, and if you hit a rocky patch or if they leave you, you'll be back to square one, or even worse I should imagine. And the most wonderful thing about getting some self-esteem, or learning ways of coping with it better, is that it not only effects your relationship confidence, but it will effect nearly every other aspect of your life.

Please don't give up. Try confidence classes if not therapy - am sure if you google some there will be some nearby. Remember, people there are feeling exactly the same as you! What have you got to lose by trying? Absolutely nothing. What could you gain by trying? Absolutely everything.

Hugs