Quote:
Originally Posted by ART3000
However I always had issues, mostly not on my end, due to our culture issues..I am strict catholic from Iraq and so were most girls I dated. The problem is that in our culture the girls are suppose to stay reserved before marriage.. however most of them don't and it causes many issues because the girls who do have sex before marriage and leave their boyfriends end up lieng to the next guy claiming they are virgins! Which is understandable to some degree, however it has torn me apart, because I always end up believing, feeling guilty and relating to the girls nd the end up being liars, so for the past years I was staying away from commitment. Now you might think, why not get a girl from different culture? > the answer is because our culture is very unique and I am afraid many others won't relate and know my background/ language.
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I do not think that getting a girl from a different culture is the easiest way out for you. The easiest way out is to change the way you think and relate to people. Then you can have relationships with women who share your ethnic, cultural, and linguistic background, but not torment them and yourself.
My understanding is that the particular expectations in your culture and similar cultures have led to the availability and proliferation of the operation that restores the hymen and makes it even more virginal than before. The operation can be repeated as many times as desired. Girls in your culture and similar cultures who want to claim virginity go for that operation. I do not know why your gf did not do that. Maybe she did not have the money. Usually, to stay consistent with the story, women go to surgeons. It seems to me that doing the surgery and then claiming absolute virginity is more straightforward than telling a more complicated story about one partner whom she did not enjoy etc. But I cannot read her mind and know her motivation. And yes, the operation is widely available in Europe due to the high number of Muslim immigrants there.
When you call her a liar, which is a negative term, you assume that she has an obligation to disclose her sexual history to you. As
riotgrrrl explained, she does not have this duty. You should immediately stop expecting her or any of your future sexual partners to disclose their sexual histories to you. If you do that, all your problems will be solved immediately. You would be able to enjoy the blow jobs without analyzing the level of experience of the person who gives them to you, and that will immediately lead to more joy, because the less analytical you are in bed, the better for you. You should realize that you are subjecting her to a very unpleasant experience when you are being so nosy about her past, and then she feels the need to tell you that she barely enjoyed her past relationship, which might or might not be true but it is none of your business either way. Making people swear on the bible is not the best way to treat them, either.