I just posted in your other thread. It's going to take a lot of time for you to recover. I'm 11 years into the process and still grieving. I've only just gotten to the point where I don't continually think of my father and talk to him.

I know it's painful but, unfortunately, all you can do is endure. Take care of yourself. Spoil yourself. Do things that will distract you from your grief.

There is no magic that will erase your loss. Take care of you first.