Thanks YYZ ...it made me feel embarrassed after I posted it. Its just too hurried trying to get some of my hurt out. I do feel as though I was taken advantage of. I was so naive. I was really rejected as a kid by both parents, but honestly my mom was an unbeievable person and still is. I know it has something to do with her own abuse issues I guess. Thanks for the hugs you guys! It should have been titled "Very LONG VENT" thanks, kelly