Hey Button -- sorry I'm not totally up to date on what's been going on on PC, but I was wondering about a couple things you wrote.

First, I wanted to comment that maybe it's not that you attract insecure/jealous women, but more that you are willing to put up with them. It's easier to control someone with a low sense of self-worth, and they may be picking up on this unconsciously, so there's that element. But I also wonder whether you simply put up with it for much longer than a healthy person would -- I think most other people would be not returning phone calls from someone who criticizes what they "like" on fb. Jeez Louise!

Second, I'm wondering what happened with the other T you were seeing?

And finally, this is tied in with the second thing: what is it, do you think, that is so hard to let go of surrounding your ex? She sounds like a nightmare. That doesn't mean you can't have strong feelings for someone who treats you badly but it's hard to see what was so wonderful about her that you still have these feelings for her. (I also wonder whether your current gf senses that you still have feelings for your ex, but that doesn't excuse her behavior one little bit -- others have made great comments about her T-jealousy so I'll leave it there. I was more jealous than I normally would have been of my H's exes because he still seemed to think about them a lot early on, and that's very hard for a partner to shake. Still, I never told him not to see a therapist because of it or tried to control what he "liked".)

I wonder if it's not really your ex you miss, but the distraction from yourself. You were so focused on her -- your life became about her, your friends were her friends, you had to be constantly vigilant because she was lying to you all the time. That meant you didn't need to focus on you. And this is where the T part comes in: I remember your feeling the same way about this new T who seemed so much more competent than your current T, but scared you because she wanted you to talk about you, and to work on the things that were holding you back. Is it maybe easier for you to focus on what someone else wants, even if it's hurtful to you, than it is to face what's going on with you and your past and your family and your thoughts and your life?

I'm just throwing things out there. Anyway, WePow has lots of great wisdom there about secure/insecure partners. You don't need to settle for insecure. But I also respect your willingness to give your current gf a chance.

to you.