In regards to this statement in a post:
It also sounds, though, like you're using it - the feelings you get from fantasizing, etc - as a form of escape
Yes, that does sound like that is me as well. A form of escape. Thing is my life is not that bad, not bad at all really. So what is it that I am trying to escape from? Or is it just the need to fill the hole that I feel even though i do not know why I have the feeling that something is missing in my life. 
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"Death is easy, peaceful: Life is harder"
"The Day You Turned On Me Is The Day I Died,
And I've Forgotten What It's Like,
And How It Feels To Be Alive" (Daughtry-Gone)
"And you always want what you're running from. It's always been that way." Bittersweet Lyrics by Ellie Goulding
"The reason I hold on, cause I need this hole gone." (Stay by Rihanna)
"The opposite of love's indifference." (Stubborn Love, The Lumineers)
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