Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
If you're sufferring from a lot of anxiety, your T could be trying to keep you more in the present so as to most directly address that symptom. She may also feel that focussing too intently on the past may be a coping mechanism to avoid the anxiety--or be prompted and fueled by it.
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There's something I mentioned in my 2nd quote reply to PAYNE1 that may help understand. -- I never came into therapy with my primary goal to psychoanalyze my past. I've never intentionally dwelled on it. It's all about suppression. Focusing on my past
definitely does
NOT act as a coping mechanism for avoiding the present.
Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
She may also feel that the anxiety prevents doing the sort of depth work you're talking about most effectively.
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I don't understand what you're saying about anxiety prevention the depth work I'm talking about. I'm sorry :-\ Could you explain? Maybe an example too?
Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
With both depression and anxiety, often stabilizing those conditions needs to happen first before depth work.
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I'm not depressed. My last
major depressive episode was just a bit over 2 years ago. Granted, depressive thoughts or emotions do creep their way in -
especially after periods of hypomania or just some extra stress when I'm already being frazzled quite a bit.
In terms of stabilizing the anxiety, could you give me a specific example from your mind or experience of how to do this or by what means it's prompted? Because it's my current inclination to say that the non-resolution of my past (
see my reply to PAYNE1) is the primary cause of my anxiety.
Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
Have you asked her why she doesn't want to focus as much on the past?
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Well it hasn't really been until the past 3 weeks she's sort of grasped by real desire of it. I explicitly mentioned how I looked beyond the surface level of my crippling perfectionism and figured that it was mostly cast on me by other people and I just reflected it inwardly until it became my own belief and governance.
She was pretty taken aback by that. Then I came in last week with an example more specific to that: how my dad would say things like, "I don't care what so-and-so got on the test. You didn't perform like you should and
that's what matters." It seems pretty harmless, but in cases where I
actually did well and the test/homework/assignment was truly
that hard that I actually had one of the better grades even though it was not up to standards.
She was even more surprised by that. She asked if there were other situations in which I experienced that. My answer was basically hell yes! I won't forget the look on her face after that even though she was "just repeating what I said in her head."
To actually answer your question (haha!)... No, I've never asked. When I mention something it's just sort of something that's noted. The table gets dusted off, but not scrubbed and polished and set up for dinner. Of course, this isn't all her fault. I mainly don't mention it. At first I didn't really feel there would be good in it since we were primarily dealing with my diagnosis and pain from that. I've wanted to mention things before but just never really did. Or if I did, it was cursorily discussed and not probed. Majority of the things I bring up, we end with "let's start there next week," but by the next appointment something else is the focus. Generally, it always comes back to mindfulness. -- There's no good in torturing yourself with trying to relive the past. The past is not your present. I agree under normal circumstances. However, I don't believe I'm a "normal" case by any means. She's slowly understanding my desire to learn from the past, not relive it. .......I think.