wait a minute, Sept. Ok, well maybe after 30 years, one would hope that their husband would have a handle on likes/dislikes, but honestly? He asked you to spend time with him doing something that he likes to do (as opposed to excluding you from "his" environment), he bought you a fish that many consider beautiful (even if you don't), and remembered what kind of ice cream you like. He sounds like he is *trying*, and even if it doesn't come anywhere close to meeting your expectations, your reaction, at least here, doesn't acknowledge that. Why would he try even harder the next time if you don't appreciate his efforts?

I know... it's easy for me to say this from hundreds of miles away... but it sounds like your resentment is getting in the way of breaching the gap, and I don't want to see you further alienate yourself from him and your family if it's something you want to fix.

I mean this all in a kind way, so be gentle on me in your response, ok?