I'm so sad for the circumstances in which you had to give your baby up. Please remember even some churches do say abortion is okay if the pregnancy is a danger to the mother. And it sounds like the little one would probably have been very damaged as well.

I don't know if you believe in an afterlife, but I do. As a result, you certainly might see your little one in the future and your baby will be whole and happy. I know some people even say they have "a child in heaven."

Yes, you can't change the past, but I can understand your grief. Here's a hug for you and for your little one .