I do this all the time, constantly and I'm glad I am not alone. Every day I'll have flashbacks of things that happened years ago and what I said and how I acted and feel so awful and think that those people must still remember it too. Most nights when I can't sleep it is become things I did in the past come back and take over my brain. It causes so much anxiety and shame for myself. The past few months have been worse than ever. I'm so consumed by these thoughts that I often wish there was a machine that would erase all those bad memories. I'm even scared seeing people if there is a bad memory attached to them from 10 years ago. I'm sure they have forgotten about it, but I'm convinced they haven't. Makes it so hard for me to move on with my life. So maybe it is a BPD thing. I honestly re-live the things I've said every day. Totally understand how you're feeling.