Aiuto, I know what you mean, I just found out about 5 or so months ago that I have a serious desease. As I type this I am struggling with emotions, I am trying real hard not to cry this mornning, or just go into a rage, which can and has gotten me in trouble. Sometimes I just use drugs to go numb, other times I just want to run away, I have went so far as throwing a bunch of stuff in my car and leaving. Twenty miles down the road I am crying and asking myself where the hell do I thing I am going, trying to run away from myself. To me ingnorance is bliss, I wish I never knew that I had illness. To me that is better than this rollercoaster ride. So yes Aiuto I understand where you are comeing from and emotions really do suck at times like these. I will just continue to stuff the emotions down and use drugs to keep them at bay. JUST ANOTHER CRAPPY DAY IN PARADISE! Garry