endoftheworld I am female. So penile anatomy and issues, may not be my area of expertise. But I am married an have 3 kids. So I do know how the thing works. I am also a christian.

So question #1 is just how hard does hard have to be. Well depending on how wet your partner is, and position you are choosing makes a huge difference in this case. (Doggie seems to be the easiest) If this is her first time to then hard, real hard is a good idea. But if that is not the case. Simi hard is doable. Once you get it in there hardness will improve. Hardness is not necessarily the desired effect. From a woman's viewpoint, just something to fill up the space is often enough for a girl to be happy. Most of the sensation for a female is upon insertion anyway.

The stimulation received is usually enough to gain and maintain a stiff erection during sex. If for some reason it dies during sex. The result is a simple one. Remove and resume pleasuring her until a stronger erection is reached, re insert and continue. That gives here the opportunity to keep up her arousal. Since sex solely is likely not enough for her satisfaction it gives opportunity to have the best of both worlds.

Have you considered pumps or other toys as an option to gain a harder erection. Meds are an option, but toys are so much funner, and might be just as effective. Worth a try.

Question #2. You do not need constant arousal to keep it up. One's body knows what to do no arousal necessary. (that is why so many folks have a hard time w/ rape, there body responded to touch even though there mind did not want it to) You can get an erection in your sleep from someone else s touch or from dreams. So state of arousal is not necessarily the issue. Though it does help to keep it hard.

#3. Issues w/ Christianity. Well I to am a christian. I had premarital sex. That was wrong, I know that. But at the time I didn't care. But if you view pron and like that, is that Christian? We both know the answer to that.( I have read the same thing about porn that you have, it destroys your sex life, I don't see how, seems to enhance it to me, but what do I know) I, by the way, need to ask for forgiveness for my own personal viewing habits. (I like porn) Is there some law somewhere that says you can't watch pron while having sex. I think not. That is an option you may wish to look into. My H and I have done that before. He found a blond, like me, and the guy was no dog either,and it was clear that my H by no means wanted to be doing the girl in the movie, but that seemed to give his mind the mental boost to achieve the desired result for him. And It was an entertaining option to see that guy from the movie and feel my H. That does work both ways. The meds I take make it very hard to reach the point of "O". But if I watch an oral sex scene and my H performs oral on me then the result is much more likely to happen.

So in other words do what works for you or for yall. If you are having sex w/ someone you should be able to explain your needs and concerns. And how to best get you needs met as well as hers.

Well between me and you both, I think we have included enough info to get this thread thrown out. I hope not. Because it is a very ligitimate concern. And nothing gross or nasty has been said here. Not gross or nasty , but Human. And our mental health is affected by our sexual health as well.