Told T today, finally, that I've been thinking about leaving. Of course, I waited until the last 10 minutes, so we didn't get to discuss it very much. The thought still terrifies me.

I went in with the idea of telling T that I have been consulting with newT (she knows I went once). That didn't happen. I feel like I'm doing something wrong by not telling her about it. But also like I want to protect her from the knowledge that I really like newT. And also like I want to hurt her with the knowledge that I like newT. Conflicted much?