Ok, I have had severe Anixety issues, and Depression since I was 10 years old. I am now 19, but I have a bad issue, that I don't understand. I was always bullied by kids, and my extended family always insulted me, and especially my grandfather his kind words to me were always "Your fat" "Your Ugly" Your Stupid, and so on. Because of my family, except my mother and father, have always insulted me, I have a severe low self esteem issue, that I have been trying to deal with since I was 8 years old. I have seen so many therapist/psychologists since I was 12, and I felt that none of them helped, or understood my situation, therefore I quit going to therapists, and such at 15. Well, because I bottle up my problems, I felt like when I was 18 that I needed to give therapy one last shot, and talk about my problems, cause my family hates me, and never comforts me, so I need an outlet. When I was 18, I went to this therapist in June 2012, and it's funny cause when I first met him, I thought he was unattractive, and I don't mean to be rude when I say that, I was actually glad he was unattractive cause then I could tell my problems to him. I thought he was really cool! I liked how liberal he was, and how funny he is, and how just overall, I was looking forward to the sessions, unlike the others ones I dreading going to them. I just thought he was a real cool guy to talk to, and that was it. All of a sudden November of 2012 (5 months later) I develop these really strong feelings for him. I started to find him attractive, and I started to just really feel connected to him, I basically was thinking "This is the perfect guy!" It is now almost a year later, and I feel that I am getting worse. I am obsessed with him in a sense that I think about him way too much, and I see him twice a week! So I shouldn't really be thinking of him constantly. I am not obsessed where I would stalk him, or anything like that I am just always thinking about him. What really scares me is the fact that I look at every guy now, and I think to myself "You are not as great as my therapist" "Your worthless compared to him" I don't like that I think that way! I never thought that way about any guy! Trust me I am not the lovey dovey type, if anything I always had the attitude "I don't believe in love" So it is new to me that I feel this infatuated with someone. I feel like I am crazy, and I don't know what to do! I don't like that I look at every guy, and I am like well they are not as great as my therapist. I feel very depressed about the whole thing, also knowing that I will never be with him, is also a bummer too! Because he is 37 yrs old, and he has a wife and 2 young kids, so I know there is no way, plus I feel bad that I even like a married man. I feel like it's wrong, and I shouldn't like someone who is married, granted, I dont flirt with him or anything, it is strictly platonic, but I just feel bad. I am just very confused, and depressed, and don't know what to do! Any thoughts? Thank you for answers!