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I know how difficult it can be. I advise u to take any help given. I was originally offered counselling which i know some people reject as they dont think it will be enough, but it helps initially. Going for a walk is always good altho there was a possibility that i would try to throw myself under any lorry that i saw. You know the best thing i found was watching British comedy shows, as our comedy tends to come from how unfair life is.
I know sometimes with depression people say youre just lazy, and that if you think about something else it will go away, and they basically make you feel guilty, but keep telling yourself that things will improve, that you will get help, and that life can get better. This seemed impossible for me even a few months ago, but ive started on a mood stabiliser (better than anti depressants) and propranolol for anxiety and things are getting better.
Please keep going, youre worth much more than people with no understanding of this will have you believe
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