not whining too much as such... you should see some of the stuff I've posted on forums in that past... far far far worse

You make a lot of good points.... esspessially the stopping for yourself or someone else one... though I honestly don't think it is possible to succeed if trying merely for others... 3 months is brilliant, and so I feel that at least to a degree you are doing this for yourself...
by now you are bound to have proven to yourself several times that you don't NEED to do it... that you are strong enough to resist urges and that life is possible without such a coping mechanism.

well done on the 3 months, and I hope that you come to some sence of clarity upon the other issues raised here soon