It sounds like you're going through an extremely demoralizing & depressed period, Blue. It's especially tough when folks you consider friends minimize what you're going through & spew their own garbage -- not paying attention to what you're trying to communicate. We're here to listen & let you vent.

...my two cents worth, but have you ever checked into lamictal as a mood stabilizer, as opposed to lithium? I've found it to be pretty weight neutral -- though some folks can't tolerate it.

That said, I know no med will weed out all the problems you're sorting through now. I just hope you can manage to stay strong & somehow weather this sh*tstorm you're in. Try to hang tough.