I've thought about this many times. I probably would have graduated from medical school and been who knows where by now since my goal from junior high school was to be a physician. My major in college was initially biology, and my plan was to go to med school from there. I switched majors I don't know how many times because I couldn't stand the pressure and my depression and constant breakdowns got in the way of studying and a serious, rigorous schedule. I even switched back to biomedical sciences a few years ago, giving it one last shot. I switched to nursing after I couldn't handle my biology major (not that nursing school is easy at all), then I quit nursing school with two semesters left before graduation. Now I'm on the waiting list for nursing school again and, honestly, I don't want to go back, but I can't stand to think of myself in my current job forever, and I can't stand the thought of not finishing my degree though I don't know if I can actually finish nursing school for sure this time.

So yeah. I'm pretty sure that, at least education-wise, I have an idea of where I'd be without BPD, and it's far ahead of where I am now.

It's nice for people to say that BPD makes them who they are and that it does no good to wonder, but I'm not there yet. I had so many plans for myself before this thing officially took hold in my late teens/early 20's. I have too many regrets I'm not reconciled with yet. Call me angry... you'd be right. I hate this f---ing disorder.