I feel for you but the fact of the matter is that it should not be an option even to end it all right now. In time, you will see that it does get better. Kids are never better off with one parent as opposed to two and also they are not going to be better off if you leave this world, they will be left with the guilt of thinking that they did something wrong, or weren't good enough, that's the nature of children. You don't want to leave them with that even if right now you can't see them they know you're there and if you left that way it would only be worse for them trust me on that.