Ya know what? Being alone is a good thing. No one gets that, and that's when it gets messed up.
My perfect friend situation includes separate housing, separate lives. It's when you are together too much that things change. I want no jealousy, no expectations, no controlling behavior. From me or my friend.
Being happy in the moment when we are together & not thinking too hard about what is or isn't & just Accepting. Laughing, Loving. What's wrong with that? That's what I would have if I were up to me.
So far, I have not found anyone who gets this. I thought I met someone once, but in the end he wanted it to change into a more 'traditional' boy/girl thing. And I said, 'no'. So he went away. His loss. We had fun together. Oh well. If I had it to do over I would still say the same thing. He changed his expectation. I was honest, it wasn't a ploy. He didn't believe I just liked us, flaws & all. I had no thought to change him & I expected the same.
So, for now; alone. Yes. Okay with it. Feel fine, I have a life. Alone not lonely.