Thanks guys, yea I'm glad I've been trying to keep better boundaries with this friend and standing up for myself. But why do I still feel like **** being so blunt with her? Like I should've been able to stay calm and politely tell her what time it is? Is so conflicting being raised by a kind angelic southern belle mama and a dynamic bp drama daddy. I have both polarities in me. Friend just pushed me wrong place wrong time. And I feel horrible sending my son to bed sternly without hugs and love. But discipline was necessary, I can't let him misbehave like that. I feel bad I sent my mom and sis a crazy email about how doomed we are, mom sweetly emailed me back that she wants me and kids to keep living in her house here and seems to think we can save biz. But she's kinda older and heavily medicated and doesn't seem to see the gravity of the situation. She promised to work on her end of the bank loan app. I still have a small chance here to save biz, but we've been turned down for past 3 loans and I've got vendors on me all day long about past due. I don't know what's going to happen. If I could somehow have a miracle I'd like to save my biz I love. And I'm trying to sleep, been knocking myself out for past 5 nights with meds that just make me groggy. And now it's after midnight and I've taken Valium and ambien and still awake. I would check in to a hospital if they'd give me butt load of benzos and let me rest for just a week... But they're never like that.