Thank you...that's a good point. I should just go see someone. I think there are therapists around here who know about BPD but not DBT so that's at least something. I really wish I could put myself in one of those 30 day programs, like rehab lol. Then I would be forced to be alone (sort of) and to face my issues but I think they're really expensive. Guess I'm just being impatient.

Another thing I'm worried about is if I go see a therapist, if it could interfere later when I am trying to get a job. I'm going to school to be a nurse and so it seems like with that being a medical profession, employers could have more access to my medical records even though they are supposed to be confidential.

Has therapy helped you? I've been in therapy a lot before but for different reasons because I didn't know what the real issue was and no one else did either. I did CBT but all it really did was make me really uncomfortable (I think the therapist had her own weird method). I guess CBT is supposed to help with mindfulness but I never felt comfy with the therapist so never got anywhere.

Can poor communication be a symptom of BPD or is that just me? lol Never been too good at that, I think sometimes I am a compulsive liar even with therapists because I want them to like me :/ I sometimes wonder if I'd make a good actress because I am definitely good at acting like other people or taking on others' personalities. I know MY personality is in here somewhere, but I hate that I'm constantly changing and I know other people notice it and think I'm just weird lol.

Okay sorry for writing so much...I never get to talk about this stuff with anyone...and actually in RL I am very quiet and don't say much anyway but get me typing and I can't stop