Where to begin????

Ex SIL is still in our lounge and I am sO proud of myself, I have not throttled her (yet), even though she continues to be a nuisance with her "your highness" attitude and acts like we are the vagrants in her house!

EG. She told my mom that my cigarette smoke "affects" her and makes my nephew cough!

My mom politely told her that I smoke in my room (coz I'm the only smoker, I do respect the non-smokers) and she will NOT tell me to go smoke outside after I've been comfortably smoking here for 9 yrs! Also my mom pointed out that nephew's cough started AFTER she started putting him in time-out in our backyard AFTER he's been bathed!

Well that shut her up pretty quickly!

Work is good, but tiring since we have new hires, I'm still expected to carry out my telephonic obligations, but I have alot of admin and Training assisting to do, so I'm kinda spread thin at work, but its not horrible or anything. Just exhausting.

Family is ok, mom is really stressed though and wants "brother dearest" to move that lady out.

Lovelife is blossoming at a much faster pace than I had the audacity to hope for Bf is back to his usual old smitten with Ophelia self, and he is actively trying to be less guarded. Verbally he's not there yet, and that's ok, I need to earn his trust back, but I can see him trying and his actions speak loudly and super clearly!

Jordan... my daughter is the "problem" area, *gasp* real plot twist hey folks? I know you never saw that 1 coming!!!

She has started resenting me for her fatherlessness, even though she doesn't know the words to describe it. I see it oh so clearly.

She gets mad when her friends talk about their dads and gets sad after weekends with her Godfather (BIL) and cousins.

Which leads her to insulting me and putting me down, dissing things I do for her as "not good enough" or crying fits about how bf should have been her dad, that I did that daddy part all wrong...

I've spoken to her and told her that I demand respect, that even though she hurts me deeply, I'm soft on her because I know she's dealing with alot of hurt and loss, but that she cannot be insulting and condescending. She apologized and said she doesn't often think before she speaks, and will be nicer.

She is being nicer, but its Easter weekend, which means family time. Which means seeing all her cousins with their dads... I'm not looking forward to Monday!

Idk what to do, so far the only advice I got from my sister and aunt (who had the same issues with daughters) was that it was all fixed shortly after they got married to other men. I cannot wait for such things that may or may not happen!

On the plus side EX SIL has pushed up my blood pressure considerably, its the first time since I was 14 that it is now within normal range!

General comments and advice on 9 y.o daughers who hate their moms are most welcome