Hmm. Have to deconstruct the problem first before one can solve it.

1. What does self-confidence and assertiveness mean to you?

2. Do you see a difference between assertive and aggressive?

3. Why (When) do you not feel self-confident?

4. Who is/can be your self-confident "model"?

5. What are some baby steps you can take to begin being more self-confident and assertive?



1. Not being afraid to speak up when I believe I have something to say.

2. Assertive is making sure I'm not stepped on whereas aggressive is trying to push my beliefs and truths onto someone else.

3. I feel least self-confident (you mean there's degrees of self-confidence????) when I believe/feel someone else is being aggressive.

4. My husband can be/is my self-confident model.

5. Pay attention when my husband is acting self-confident, when things start feeling scary and I want to "run" and just watch what he says and does instead of trying to get away or smooth things over, etc. Watch others as a "scientist" to see how others do things that are difficult for me. At the same time, acknowledge my own feelings and see if I can see what triggers them, do "logical progression" to worst case scenario to help calm about anything "bad" happening.