I really get what you are saying and have the problem in a number of ways, like also with the question, "so where are you from?" Some questions that seem ordinary and simple aren't actually for different people. And these type of ordinary seeming conversational interactions can be truly alienating so I appreciate that fact.

I just wanted to try to add some playfulness in here. In psychoanalysis, which after all is the butt (no pun intended) of lots of jokes. I mean how many shrink-couch cartoons do we really need? Anyway, one joke is that ordinary people say "fine" or something to the question, "How are you?" That it's only neurotics who take the question as meant and actually tell you how they are.

I actually think to be honest that I don't find the joke all that funny, but I wanted to go over it because I think it leads to a real issue. People just really don't want to know on this kind of basis and maybe even ever. This to me is truly sad and needs to be changed because we live in connection to each other and so we should actually want to know the truth about someone we know and be able to have appropriate responses. I think it is really wrong to force people under this kind of seemingly innocuous social nicety to "fake it" and push themselves to pretend that everything is okay if it truly isn't. A truly humane society would be able to have people admit to struggles and find no estrangement or entanglement in that simple level of conversation. I hope someday, at least in my lifetime, we reach a place where people can actually be truthful and authentic. Everyone in general would be better off if people wouldn't play such silly high school like games.