Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
hankster my friend, I suggest with gentleness that T's actually DO this, as well as suggest this, all the time. That in part this is what therapy is all about. In Buddha's Brain, Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom: Rick Hanson, Richard Mendius: 9781572246959: Amazon.com: Books,
the author suggests that healing the physical trauma that trauma causes to the brain is done by infusing bad memories with the imagination that you are there with "someone that you love." In a way, by T being there while we talk about what happened, this is how our brains start to get out of their well worn grooves and we move from making reflexive responses to more considered ones.
So I think what MKAC's T is suggesting here is sort of a two for one deal, that he is trying to be there for both MKAC and that kid, and help diffuse the trauma caused to both of them. IMO anyway. |
That does sound like what his intent is. We have discussed that it very much feels to me like my brain has worn these grooves -- like a record played too many times.
I have noticed that the first time he mentioned it, I was absolutely panic stricken. My throat felt like it was closing and my mouth was dry, and I was just frozen in terror. This time, I was more like, no, NOT happening. But not so terrified.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
That therapist I see does talk about how having her be there is supposed to be useful and how she is kind to the young me and some other stuff but I usually have checked out by that point. It totally creeps me out because I find the presence of the therapist is not reassuring and I would rather any young me be killed off. But she does bring it back up every so often. I understand the idea of not wanting to revisit a young self - particularly if one is viewing that as a vulnerable, moronic thing who, if only would have exhibited the slightest whiff of intelligence, could have warded off all sorts of things and done them correctly. Or that is how I see what the therapist describes.
MKAC - I think you find the presence of the therapist useful right? So it might be something to at least try. (But I also understand wanting to kill it).
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The parts I bolded are the parts that really, REALLY apply for me. If I could have shown even a glimmer of good sense, so much could have been avoided.
I find him useful. But I also feel badly when he calls me abusive. If I talk about my reluctance to give that child any attention, and my desire STILL for her to just die, he is going to call me abusive again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SallyBrown
MKAC, I'm going to steal a page from my own T's book here and ask, what do you imagine happening if you were to show compassion to your child self?
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She doesn't deserve compassion, Sally. I have a hard time getting past that. She was a weird, dumb, kind of creepy little kid.