nicole: I agree with what you said about wanting people to understand the reality behind EDs. I know that for me, what got me started with bulimia was when I was 15, and I read an article in a teen magazine about a girl who had recovered from bulimia but whose friend had died as a result of the disease - died, at the age of 15 - and all I could think was, 'Oh hey, cool, a way to eat all I want and stop gaining all the weight'. Because for me, I'm one of those bulimics who's still been obese all my life, so people look at me and assume that my only problem is a lack of willingness. At my worst I lost over a hundred pounds but my hair was falling out in clumps, I looked like a skeleton with sunken eyes (even though I was still a size 13, my bones were sticking out), and I was cold all the time and had no energy. I commend your courage in reaching out, to us, and in seeking help with your disorder. It's a hell of a thing to live with. For me it's been over 20 years of disordered eating. I'm in recovery now but it seems like I've got miles to go before it'll actually be arrested and I'll have any peace of mind. I hope that you find the support you need and that you find wellness. In the meantime I hope to see you around the forums more, and you're welcome to PM me if you need someone to vent to, whenever you like.