))))))))) )biiv ((( ( ((((((( Hi I haven't talked with you before, so I hope you don't take offence at what I am about to say:
Hon, do you have a therapist? I am hearing a lot of cnontradictions in your post. IMHO, your Dad was sexually harrassing you, at the least. My father was of similar ilk. Prancing around in his boxers flashing neighbor ladies, ets.

It was a power trip. Sexual abuse is a power trip.

It's really hard to get a clear perspective on our parents while growing up in their house. Things that happen in one's childhood home are "normal" to that household, even if other families wouldn't go there for money........

A therapist helps broaden our awareness of other options to the functioning patterns of a family. We get to think about ours in relation to others. The therapist provides all sorts of new information to add to the stew of our thoughts.

A good therapist helps us develope new skills, new patterns of behavior, etc. that make our lives our lives.

Having ucontrollable anger bubbling so near the surface says to me that you are ready to pop the boil. That takes help. Please consider finding a therapist, or incest survivors group. My county has rape crisis and battered women shelters who have all sorts of references to support services for women like us. Give yours a jingle and get hooked up, ok? Best to you.