Bless your heart. You DO need someone to talk to. What about the counselors on campus? I thought every school had counselors? Doesn't your school? If it does, I'd talk to one of them. Everything is kept confidential so you don't have to worry about that. You're an adult, so your Mom would NOT be told. NO one would be told. So see what you can arrange.

I do wish you could get professional help, i.e. therapy with a psychiatrist. That would be the best solution. But since you can't, try the above.

You do have some issues that really need attention, and while I'm not sure that a school counselor could address them, they could at least give you a place to vent, and possibly offer suggestions.

I wish you the very best. Please take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee