Thanks for your reply Hillbunnyb. i have a therapist ive been seeing for a few months now and i think this is what is bringing up a lot of stuff for me. the last couple of weeks have been kinda hard so im really trying to get through stuff and actually face it instead of stuffing and ignoring frantically.

thing is its been impossible to say anything really to her so far. i wrote this thinking i might be able to get some feedback here on it and maybe bring it in to T but now that i see it in writing thats not going to happen any time soon. i cant even bring myself to reread it cos of wanting to avoid everything. i wrote something else though that i might be able to bring in. maybe. something ive spent two weeks staring at the floor talking in circles trying to get out so maybe maybe this week...

there just seems to be so much of everything. sigh.

thank you for your feedback and its nice to meet you. i try never to take offence to advice given in good faith btw.

take care of yourself
biiv